Kansas City Chiefs 2016

Prediction: Kansas City Chiefs 2016

With the new NFL season upon us, I want to go on record with my Kansas City Chiefs 2016 predictions. Since I nailed last year’s record, let’s break down this year’s. Here we go…

Kansas City Chiefs 2016

  • Week 1 home – Chargers: The Chargers have often proven to be a thorn in the Chiefs side. Over the last couple years, however, they’ve been more doormat than thorn. Chiefs win.
  • Week 2 – @ Texans: This should be a repeat of last year’s playoff game or very close to it. Brock Osweiller doesn’t change my opinion. Chiefs win.
  • Week 3 home – Jets: Ryan Fitzpatrick is a wily veteran and paid far too much to be sporting his Velcro beard. With the first sack, his Velcro beard sticks to the turf and the Chiefs grounds crew has to cut a sizable section of sod just to get him off the field. He can’t continue the game. Chiefs win.
  • Week 4 – @ Steelers: Alex Smith can’t win in a shootout. That’s what this becomes. Chiefs lose.
  • Week 5 – Bye
  • Week 6 – @ Raiders: This is the year the once hapless Raiders finally put all those top draft picks together to do something other than shoot themselves in the foot. Chiefs lose (another shootout because the Chiefs expose Sean Smith for the poor corner he really is).
  • Week 7 home – Saints: The Saints D become HVAC specialists as the Chiefs O cools them off – the Saints know it’s hard to stop a Trane. Chiefs win.
  • Week 8 – @ Colts: Chiefs turn into Captain America, Iron Man, The Hulk, Thor, Vision, etc. as they avenge their 2014 playoff loss. Chiefs win.
  • Week 9 home – Jaguars: Blake Bortles up his emotions until he collapses in a heap of self-loathing. Chiefs win.
  • Week 10 – @ Panthers: Too much Cam. Chiefs lose.
  • Week 11 home – Buccaneers: Marcus Peters -vs- Jameis Winston. Peters has 6 picks (3 pick-6 picks, 1 regular pick, a Waterpik, and a toothpick). Chiefs win.
  • Week 12 – @ Broncos: The entire Broncos D uses helmet to helmet collisions and penalties to knock Alex Smith out of the game. Nick Foles leads the team down for the winning score only to have a freak blizzard appear and push Cairo Santos’ chip shot field goal wide left. Chiefs lose.
  • Week 13 – @ Falcons: Julio Jones scorches whichever corner plays opposite Marcus Peters that week and puts the Falcons up by 50 at the half. Devonta Freeman runs past a completely gassed Chiefs line in the second half. Chiefs lose.
  • Week 14 home – Raiders: All the confidence gained in the first game between these two is lost and the Raiders shoot themselves in the foot. Then shoot the Raider fanbase in the foot. Chiefs win.
  • Week 15 home – Titans: It’s the Titans. ‘Nuff said. Chiefs win.
  • Week 16 home – Broncos: All the Broncos who speared Alex Smith and knocked him out of the game are still on suspension. Chiefs win.
  • Week 17 – @ Chargers: Of all the San Diego Chargers in the world, they’re the San Diego Chargeriest. Chiefs win.

Post Season 2016

The Chiefs go 11-5 and make it to the playoffs in back-to-back years. From there, things get crazy.

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