Canada Geese: Like George And The Pigeons
Don’t we have a deal with the pigeons?
Of course we have a deal. They get out of the way of our cars, we look the other way on the statue defecation.
– George and Jerry, in “The Merv Griffin Show”
Don’t we also have a deal with Canada geese? They don’t try to work at our corporate offices and we don’t try to fly or nest in the wetlands? Apparently there are three to six at Corporate Woods who either didn’t read the memo or they simply dropped it from their beaks and promptly shit all over it. You might think I’m being hyperbolic, but if you walked around the buildings at Corporate Woods, it’s like a large goose toilet. This is all beside the point, so allow me to explain.
Loyal readers know I try to step away from my desk a couple times a day to clear my head and get my steps in on the ol’ Fitbit. This means walking a clover leaf around four of the buildings in the office park. If you’re unfamiliar, this area has frequent pedestrian and car traffic. While there are plenty of wooded areas and even a creek nearby, it’s not really a wildlife habitat. Except for Canada geese. They are often found in the the grassy areas around the buildings, in the parking lots, on the rooftops, or on the sidewalks right outside many offices. Other than some persistent honking, they’re usually unobtrusive. Except one.
My coworker, JJ, calls him Happy because he looks like he’s smiling as he hisses or starts charging at you. Typically this behavior is because they’re protecting a nest or their fledgling flocks. Happy exhibits the same behavior regardless of where he is. He’s grown more territorial and today he crossed a line.
Usually if I see there are geese on the sidewalk, I clap my hands to alert them I’m heading their way. They either sit there like they couldn’t care less or they get up and move to the soft grass. As I rounded a corner, I slowed, clapped my hands and a pair of geese waddled along before me. I made eye contact with one of the guys in the offices as I herded the geese forward. Then Happy joined in. He swooped in from somewhere to my right and scattered the two in front of me. One sped forward while the other made a U-turn and scooted past me. Happy hissed and snapped at the office window as though he thought there was another goose there and then turned on me. Not today Happy.
When he tried snapping at me, I went into block mode and made circles with my arms. This either confused or frightened him because he took flight and headed for a neighboring roof. I’m guessing it also looked comical from the offices. The man I made eye contact with moments before stepped out of his office to ask if the geese bit me. I said no and assured him both human and geese were fine.
It amazes me that these geese hang around the office area rather than in the woods or stream that’s a block or so away. We had a deal, Canada geese. We. Had. A. Deal.