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Making the connections
Making the connections

Kansas City Chiefs 2018-2019 Predictions

Kansas City Chiefs 2018-2019 Predictions

You didn’t ask for it, or maybe subconsciously you did. Regardless, here it is! Here is my prediction for the Kansas City Chiefs 2018-2019 season. Based on my highly analyzed viewpoint (aka watching the first half of the first pre-season game of 2018), what do we know about the 2018-2019 Chiefs? Nothing concrete. The first team offense was freezer-burn vanilla. I’m sure that’s by design as Reid doesn’t want to tip anyone off to all the wondrous delights for what some are dubbing The Greatest Show On Turf II. Yeah, we’ll see about that. The defense looked to be the same as the 2017-2018 Chiefs. As my brother gleaned, “It’s bend don’t break… on every play.” Again, I’m sure things will change after the season starts. It has to. Seriously, it has to.

Kansas City Chiefs 2018-2019 Predictions

Kansas City Chiefs 2018-2019 Regular Season

@ Chargers: The Chargers are the darling pick of the AFC West in most professional sports analyst’s eyes. Sorry, I’m not buying it. The Chiefs are 10-6 versus the Chargers since 2010 and have swept them since 2014 (Andy Reid’s second year as head coach). The Chargers may be a 5 or more point favorite heading into the opener, but I am confident they can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory. Chiefs 1-0

@ Steelers: Will this be the year Andy Reid finally figures out how to best Mike Tomlinson and the Steelers? No. Chiefs 1-1

Versus the 49ers: Jimmy Garoppolo will follow in the Orange Stain on US History’s footsteps as his liaisons with his porn star girlfriend will detract from his efforts in his job. Chiefs 2-1

@ Broncos: Is Case Keenum a significant upgrade over Paxton Lynch and Chad Kelly? Mayyyyyyyyybe? The Denver defense will take a step back this year, but the offense will stay the same. Chiefs 3-1

Versus the Jaguars: The Jags’ D will be too much for the burgeoning, yet still struggling to solidify its legs Chiefs offense. Despite Blake Bortles, Chiefs 3-2

@ Patriots: Last year’s opener was a shellacking the Patriots will never forget. The Patriots will take this one in a last-minute squeaker. Chiefs 3-3

Versus the Bengals: Marvin Lewis and Andy Dalton are 65-45 together and 2-0 versus the Chiefs. They won’t go 3-0. Chiefs 4-3

Versus the Broncos: It’s like the earlier version only worse since it’s at Arrowhead. Chiefs 5-3

@ Browns: The hapless Browns are 1-31 in the past two years. I predict they’ll win four games this year (and the city will burn in the celebrations) with the Chiefs falling to them because Baker Mayfield finally wins the starting role and his douche-like behavior inspires the team to win. Chiefs 5-4

Versus the Cardinals: The Larry Fitzgerald Farewell Tour comes to KC, but it fails to garner 1/4 the attention of the Taylor Swift tour. Chiefs 6-4

@ Rams: Marcus Peters balls out to give a two-handed one-finger salute to the Chiefs brass who failed him. I hope there was more in their consideration than this “Anthem protest” (that IS NOT AN ANTHEM PROTEST). Chiefs 6-5

@ Raiders: Gruden’s antiquated ideologies cannot elevate this franchise. Chiefs 7-5

Versus the Ravens: The Chiefs will finally wipe away the post-season loss where the Ravens came in and put the beat down on them. Chiefs 8-5

Versus the Chargers: Exactly half the Chargers’ team will be on IR. Chiefs 9-5

@ Seahawks The Chiefs dominance over the Seahawks was legendary. Not in 2018, though. Chiefs 9-6

Versus the Raiders: The Return of Chucky… this game will be as good for the Raiders as that movie. Chiefs 10-6

Kansas City Chiefs 2018-2019 Post-season

The Chiefs will make the playoffs as the AFC West leader and will finally win their first home playoff game that doesn’t include a Montana. They will still lose in the next round, however.

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